


and a grey dawn breaking

by VolunteerFieryDantooinian



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Aquaphobia, Cuddles, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Seasickness, Shippy if you Squint, Vomiting, thalassophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 10:19:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16061069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VolunteerFieryDantooinian/pseuds/VolunteerFieryDantooinian
Summary: A few days into the Mighty Nein’s nautical escapades, they hit rougher waters.Caduceus doesn’t handle it too well.SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 35





	and a grey dawn breaking

**Author's Note:**

> I know all I write is hurt/comfort, but Critical Role is a fandom with too little sickfic, and I’m someone with too much time on my hands. Plus I enjoyed this idea. Poor Caduceus needs someone to care for him too, and I think Caleb fits the bill here as someone who knows what trauma is like.

Caduceus awoke belowdecks and instantly knew something was wrong.

The ship was pitching back and forth significantly more than he’d ever felt it pitch, and the nervous, fluttery feeling in his stomach led him to believe there was a heavy storm coming in.

It was early morning, and when he went up onto the deck, the sky was a shimmery gray. Fjord was at the helm, and gave him a quiet nod. Caduceus nodded back. 

What struck him, though, was the pitch and swell of the ocean, how it tossed and turned their boat. The water was foamy and a very deep shade of navy blue. Hm. It would’ve been lovely, if it wasn’t making him nervous. Or he figured he was nervous, anyway. He didn’t quite recognize what this feeling was.

Soon, the rest of the party was up and about, save for Nott, who was hiding belowdecks. The fluttery feeling in Caduceus’ stomach was still present, and he sat on the deck scratching symbols into the floor. There wasn’t much to do; Fjord and Beau did most of the boat managing, so Caduceus figured he’d try to take a nap on the deck.

The next time he awoke, Jester was shaking him awake.

”Fjord got lunch ready,” She told him, and Caduceus sat up, still sleepy from his nap. He still felt shaky and a bit strange.

Even so, he followed Jester belowdecks, and took a small portion of the stew Fjord had cooked up. He was glad for the warmth, sighing softly as he ate. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but it was still nice to get a bit of energy back. 

After lunch, Caduceus helped clean up and decided to take another nap on the deck. He brought up his bedroll, and promptly laid down. 

As he lay there, trying to get to sleep, the storm started to worsen, and for the first time he realized what was wrong. He remembered the encounter in the Sluiceweave, the way the water had burned his lungs and stung his skin and taken his breath away.

He didn’t like that memory particularly much. It was very cold on the sea, he was starting to discover, and he was shivering pretty intensely. 

A warm hand on his shoulder dragged him out of his thoughts. 

“You know, it’s a bit chilly for you to be up here,” Caleb’s gentle voice hit his ears, and Caduceus smiled.

”Maybe. I think I’d rather stay near the sea, keep an eye on it,” He murmured, meeting his eyes as he got up and stood next to him, leaning on the railing. Caleb nodded, and Caduceus found himself transfixed by the sea once more.

The rise and fall of the waves mimicked the ball of water, the spitting sea foam akin to the panicked bubbles spilling from his mouth. He was shivering in the slight drizzle, with no real coat and nothing keeping him from his thoughts. Something dark and unknowable sliced through the surface, black and razor-edged. As he’d been looking, his stomach began to stir as the hissing foam and crashing waves did, his mouth going dry. 

“Mr. Clay?” Caleb’s gentle voice broke through his thoughts, the wizard’s warm hand gripping his shoulder. “Are you alright?” He asked, and Caduceus’ stomach lurched. He opened his mouth to respond, and he was promptly sick over the side of the boat, hands shaking. So that’s what the feeling had been, he thought a little deliriously. “ _Scheiße,_ alright..” He said, clearly a little alarmed.

Caduceus made a soft, pained noise and threw up again, and suddenly Caleb was holding his hair out of his face, and rubbing his back with one very warm hand. Clay leaned into his touch, shivering harder and dry-heaving painfully over the side. He swayed and leaned heavily on Caleb. “I’m not letting you fall, Mr. Clay,” He reassured, and Caduceus’ knees gave out from under him, making him sink slowly to the deck. True to his word, instead of letting him collapse, Caleb followed him, helping him sit and gently rubbing his back. “Do you think you’re going to be sick again?” He asked.

Caduceus shook his head. Now, he just felt wrung-out and shivery, like he was going to faint. Caleb tipped his chin down to look at him, examining his face, and frowned. “You need something to drink. I have tea of my own, I don’t have the expertise for yours, but it’s passable,” He offered, and Caduceus nodded. He almost didn’t trust himself to be able to speak without losing the careful control he had over his still-rolling stomach. 

Caleb nodded back and opened up his satchel, pulling out a few cups, a teapot, a waterskin, and a small bag. As Caduceus watched him, he grew dizzier, vision fuzzy. The dizziness wasn’t helping his nausea, either. His ears were ringing, and it wasn’t until Caleb caught him that he realized he was slumping forward. Caduceus heaved, but managed to keep himself from being sick right there. “Alright, up you go,” Caleb had a warm arm around Caduceus’ back, and he guided him over to the railing. He let out a barely perceptible noise of pain and Caleb rubbed his back gently, holding his hair out of his face as he stood there.

The smell of ocean salt made him dry-heave again, and Caleb’s hand was in his. He squeezed it weakly, and another wave of nausea rolled through him. “It’s alright, Caduceus. I’m here,” His voice was very gentle and soft. Another spray of ocean water and he gagged again before he finally managed to be sick over the edge, leaving him even weaker than before. He looked back at Caleb, who handed him his waterskin. “Do you feel better now?” Caduceus nodded and drank a little, rinsing his mouth out and leaning over the side for a few minutes.

“A little.” His eyes were closed, and he was atempting to will his stomach to settle. When he was sure he wasn’t going to vomit again, he turned to Caleb, eyes tired and dull.

“Okay, take it easy, _ja_? Being sick took a lot out of you, at this point you’re likely dehydrated,” He fretted, and Caduceus nodded. 

“I don’t feel very well,” Clay murmured, and Caleb nodded. “I think I need to lie down,” His voice was shaky, and he curled up on the deck in a heap, Caleb preventing him from just collapsing by lowering him to the floor. Clay continued to hold his hand. Caleb finished preparing the tea with a few careful uses of his magic, watching Caduceus with blatant concern on his face. He handed Caduceus a cup of tea after a few minutes, helping him to sit up. 

“I want you to drink some water, too, if you can manage it. Getting dehydrated out here is dangerous,” He said, and handed him the waterskin as well. Caduceus drank slowly, taking a few long sips before handing it back to Caleb.

“Thank you,” Caduceus mumbled, sipping the tea, and the warmth instantly made him feel a bit better, more grounded. Where he’d felt shaky from the seasickness, he felt a little more stable. 

“Of course,” Caleb said, smiling gently at him with those sky-blue eyes of his, and Caduceus shivered in the wind. It was freezing, still, and he drank his tea slowly, hands shaking. Caleb frowned. “You need to go inside, poor thing,” He murmured, helping Caduceus to his feet. Caduceus swayed and Caleb caught him, helping him belowdecks with a warm arm around him. He helped him sit down in a dark little corner, frowning and setting a hand on his face. “You’re freezing, _perle_ ,” He murmured, and beckoned him forward. 

“I don’t understand, what-“ Caduceus mused. “ _Oh_ ,” He said, and promptly crawled into Caleb’s lap, resting his head against his thigh. Caleb gently rubbed his back, taking his jacket off and draping it over him. 

“There you are, doesn’t that feel better?” He murmured, and Caduceus nodded. He certainly felt warmer, but a cold roll of fear resounded in his stomach at the way the ship was pitching faster. Luckily enough for him, he didn’t think there was anything substantial left in his stomach for him to bring up. He was shivering again, not from cold but from fear, and Caleb stroked his hair. “I’ve got you,” He reassured, running his fingers through Caduceus’ tangled hair. Caduceus swallowed hard and made tentative eye contact with him.

”Mr. Caleb, I’m not- I..” He trailed off, voice weak and shaky. “I’m not afraid of death, I’ve seen enough of that, I’m not even afraid of dying, but I..” Hot tears began to drip from his eyes. Oh. Gods, it had been quite a long time since he’d cried last. Caleb frowned softly and wiped his tears away with one gentle thumb, warm hands against Caduceus’ face. He shuddered and pressed his face into Caleb’s shoulder. He smelled nothing like the sea, and certainly not as bad as Jester had made it sound. Caleb continued to hold him. They sat like that for a very long time, Caduceus shivering slightly, and Caleb rubbing his back. He was very warm, warm enough to slow Caduceus’ thoughts, keep the shivers at bay. 

It was impossible to deny that he was getting tired, and he really didn’t feel very well. He whined softly, and Caleb ran his fingers through his hair. “Getting some sleep will help you feel a bit better, I promise. You’re safe here, Caduceus, just relax,” He soothed, and Caduceus nodded, beginning to drift off in his lap. With the warmth of Caleb’s body, it was easy, and he slipped into dreamless sleep. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from John Masefield’s Sea Fever:
> 
> "I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,  
> And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;  
> And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,  
> And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking."


End file.
